Another panda's making me update this...

So, well done Yoh :P x

Anyway...gonna talk about 'adoption' in the *B community today. Well, specifically on ADISC.

Personally, I don't really like it that much. Not to say I don't think other people should do it, it's just not for me. Being a Mama/having a Mama is really special to me. My Mama needs to love me unconditionally and always have time for me. I won't say 'put me first', because I understand MOST Mamas have to think of themselves firstly...and that's okay, *Bs aren't 'real' children. But I need a Mama to truly and really care about me to earn that title. Fortunately, my Mama has more than earned it! :D ^.^

Most people don't seem to take 'adoption' too seriously. I mean, it really doesn't seem to mean all that much, yanno? Where's the appeal of having a Mummy/Daddy if they're not gonna love you and care about you, not jus' inna passing way, but like you're their li'l cub and they're your parent? I don't understand that, to be honest.

As for me, I don't adopt other cubs, because I could never love them quite as much as my little one. Or maybe I could love them as much, but they'd never get as much attention or affection as they deserved; it would always be 'oh, sorry baby, gotta dash, my other li'lun needs me'.

On top of that, the people who ASK for adoption...are never the people who I'd want to adopt in the first place. Don't get me wrong, most of them are people I like and now consider my friends, but, the proposal is always within the first few days, hours or (on one occassion) minutes of meeting me. Even if I wanted another li'lun, it would take me a loonnng time to wanna adopt anybody new, I'd hafta see how Yuri felt, etc. Asking straight away is a sure way to get a 'no', no matter WHAT.

I'll admit...there have been people I've thought 'yeah, I could adopt this person, it could work...' (bear in mind, this is after weeks an' months of talking and developing a friendship). But even THEN...before I even say anything to Yuri, something will happen to make me go 'no, I couldn't do it'. Jus' somethin' small like Yuri wanting me when they want me, and me saying I had to go tend to Yuri rather than divide my attentions. Stuff like that, makes me realize I don't want another li'lun, or, at least, I couldn't deal with one. Yuri will ALWAYS be my little princess, I think she'll probably be the only baby I'm a Mama to. And, to be quite honest...I'm not sure I hate that idea <3

Diapers an' daffodils,
- Charlie xxo

My Mama is tha' BESTEST!!! :D

Sooo today my Mama was snooozly for most of the day, which made me a lickle sad, but we had a nice huggly nap and when she got up she was all Mummyish and loooovely!

Like uhmmm she changed my diapee* and she din't mind when I told her I had an accident earlier (but she did worry my otha-Mama wud mind!) and then we just cuddled and played and talked a bit. She was a biiiit stricter than usual and she has some weird rules ('don't put toys in your mouth'; pssh, doesn't she know that's how us cubbies find out about stuffs?) but I kinda like when she's stricty cos it makes me feel like she cares about me. Even if the stuff she cares about is dumb :p.

I went to the doctors' too, cos I had a pee-pee infection** and it hurt my cooter LOTS, but now the special medicine I'm taking is making it better...I think!

So, as I said earlier I had kinda an accident earlier (this seems pretty irrelevant but I figure 'eh, it's a TB blog...'). I had this horrible tickly-scratchy-ow feeling at the end of my pee-place, and I wanted to get rid of it, so I wud pee a little...it wud go away for a minute, then come back...so I'd pee more...one time, I peed a whole lot by accident and IDK the other little wettings...it all just added up I guess... So my jeans and knickers were soaked, and are now crumpled up in a heap in the bathroom...we'll see if otha-Mama takes it ok, or even notices...

Oh, hehe, one of Mama Y's other rules is 'don't eat food that's fallen on the floor' (she made me throw my lollipop away!) buuut...I ate a sausage I dropped earlier...shhh!

Hugggllleees! And a nuzzle-kiss!

- Charlie xxo

*all 'babyin' is online, sadly, but I can imagine it REAL GOOD
**yh it's about my pee but it's a TB blog soo...IDK, if Mama wants me to take that bit down, it'll go...

My princess is soooo wonderful!

Okay so, I've been really, REALLY enjoying babying Yuri lately, we've had lotsa fun together.

She was soooo adorable this morning, hiding under her covers and playing 'Peeka' with me, hehe... I wish I could have spent more time with her, but I did really like the time we spent together...made me allll warm and fuzzy!

She's wearing the undies I got her, w/a pad, but she really wishes she could afford some diapers after the earthquake scared her soooo bad yesterday. It's time like this I wish more than ever she could be here, just safe in my arms, padded and cuddly and away from nasty things like earthquakes. *sigh* I just want my little girl here with me, is that too much to ask?

I digress...I mainly wanted to mention something which happened today to show me how much knowing Yuri has changed me (for the better!)

Before I knew Yuri...I was involved in some very bad things online. On here, I'll probably just refer to that as my 'dark past', but it involved me talking to some bad people about very bad things, and recently my DP has come back to bite me in the rump. I may talk about it more in detail one day here, but for now, just know I don't involve myself with that anymore, and it's mainly (okay, probably TOTALLY) down to Yuri...

Now, earlier today, I was going to send a message to somebody online. They were much older than me, and after I thought about it for a while, I decided it might be dangerous to message them (because a) they may hurt me and b) I don't want to fall down that slippery slope of 'bad' messaging again) and so I didn't. This is really big, because in the past, I would have just sent the message without worrying about myself.

Now I have Yuri, I don't feel the need to validate myself with messages from random people online...I feel like a goooood puppy, who doesn't need to do anything to please her Mama other than be herself! And that, TBH, feels really special to me!

Boogaloo,

- Charlie xxo

I've been bad :( / Balancing Mama and Baby

So, last night Yuri sent me to bed, but I didn't go straight away. (she had to go to work, so she left anyway) I wrote a blogpost (I forgot to finish/post it, that's why you get two posts today, lucky you!) then I thought I'd go downstairs and check out the computer (we just got it back).

I played Petville.
I read my Facebook.
I paced up and down my corridors.
I made a new family on the Sims 3

And at 4.30am, I hit the hay.

Might seem okay, but the thing is, I usually put Yuri to bed when I get up in the morning (cos my morning is her night; she's 7hrs behind me) and today...I didn't. I woke up at 10.30, stumbled out of bed, checked Skype (she was asleepies) and then felt horribly guilty.

I guess, I feel most horrible cos I didn't try to talk* to her at all the extra 5hrs I was up. Besides the fact that I feel bad for not going to bed when I'm sposedta.

It wasn't intentional, I really wanted to talk to her, but I kept thinking I'd be getting off soon, and it was selfish to disturb her, only to say 'well yeah I'm going now bye'. I really thought I was going to get off soon, so why bug her? x I guess partially I also didn't want Mama to find out I'd stayed up, but mostly it was not wanting to tell her I was staying up then leave straght away.

Anyway, this is where the *big* problem comes in; while I was worrying about Yuri being mad at me for staying up (and then falling asleep), there was an earthquake where Yuri lives. It really scared her and she wanted me badly. She even thought 'bad' things about me (she hated me, didn't want me anymore, etc.) which I just took as normal for a cubby.

I was asleep the whole. Damn. Time. I could have been awake, and comforting her, but I was asleep. Now, because I was feeling a little cubbish (less than usual, I was basically only scared of Mama being mad at me for staying up) I didn't think to myself about waking up in time. Well, I did, but I figured I WOULD wake up in time, and everything would work out. A pretty selfish attitude, to be sure, but okay for a cub.

It's not OKAY for a Mama, though, that's the problem; Mamas need to put their babies first, no matter what. I just wish I could always know who I need to be...if I should be Mama, and therefore never be selfish, or be cubby and be...well...quite selfish sometimes.

Maybe the problem is the word 'selfish'; the things I do are selfish by adult standards....but not by kids'. I'm not sure I'm putting myself across very well; I just feel it's difficult sometimes to be both Mama and baby (not that I don't love both aspects!) because what's 'ok' behaviour for cubby-me, would be HORRIBLE for Mama-me.

Anybody understand me?

Dogroses and puppydog noses,

- Charlie xxo