Another panda's making me update this...

So, well done Yoh :P x

Anyway...gonna talk about 'adoption' in the *B community today. Well, specifically on ADISC.

Personally, I don't really like it that much. Not to say I don't think other people should do it, it's just not for me. Being a Mama/having a Mama is really special to me. My Mama needs to love me unconditionally and always have time for me. I won't say 'put me first', because I understand MOST Mamas have to think of themselves firstly...and that's okay, *Bs aren't 'real' children. But I need a Mama to truly and really care about me to earn that title. Fortunately, my Mama has more than earned it! :D ^.^

Most people don't seem to take 'adoption' too seriously. I mean, it really doesn't seem to mean all that much, yanno? Where's the appeal of having a Mummy/Daddy if they're not gonna love you and care about you, not jus' inna passing way, but like you're their li'l cub and they're your parent? I don't understand that, to be honest.

As for me, I don't adopt other cubs, because I could never love them quite as much as my little one. Or maybe I could love them as much, but they'd never get as much attention or affection as they deserved; it would always be 'oh, sorry baby, gotta dash, my other li'lun needs me'.

On top of that, the people who ASK for adoption...are never the people who I'd want to adopt in the first place. Don't get me wrong, most of them are people I like and now consider my friends, but, the proposal is always within the first few days, hours or (on one occassion) minutes of meeting me. Even if I wanted another li'lun, it would take me a loonnng time to wanna adopt anybody new, I'd hafta see how Yuri felt, etc. Asking straight away is a sure way to get a 'no', no matter WHAT.

I'll admit...there have been people I've thought 'yeah, I could adopt this person, it could work...' (bear in mind, this is after weeks an' months of talking and developing a friendship). But even THEN...before I even say anything to Yuri, something will happen to make me go 'no, I couldn't do it'. Jus' somethin' small like Yuri wanting me when they want me, and me saying I had to go tend to Yuri rather than divide my attentions. Stuff like that, makes me realize I don't want another li'lun, or, at least, I couldn't deal with one. Yuri will ALWAYS be my little princess, I think she'll probably be the only baby I'm a Mama to. And, to be quite honest...I'm not sure I hate that idea <3

Diapers an' daffodils,
- Charlie xxo

Chat trouble -.-

So, yesterday Yuri an I were on IRC. Now, we would normally start chatting straight away, but Yuri needed to tidy her room. So I start telling her to clean her room (on IRC) and she'll get a spanking otherwise. Some other people giggled and got involved, one person bribing Yuri with candy (to get her to stay up! bad boy! :p) and others telling her to listen to me.

Now...I'll admit maybe we made the 'rp' a bit too long and exclusive (although I don't really count it as an RP; I really did want her to tidy her room and I WAS gonna punish her if she didn't) but if anyone else had been doing it when I was there, I would either have giggled or not cared.

But somebody (we'll call her Z) decided she simply couldn't stand looking at/reading our conversation, it was that offensive. Apparently she forgot how to not read...or heck, even IGNORE certain pieces of writing... but anyway...

I guess I understand her complaint...kinda...not really, I still think she was wrong, but...I din't wanna cause trouble. I said 'ok, buht I'm not really sure what you're annoyed by, hun?' she replied ': Mama C pooped herself....what makes u think people want to read that?' (or something similar).

Now...usually I would have pointed out that wasn't even part of the 'RP', it was Yuri making a silly comment. It was a joke. It had no bearing on any of the other stuff we said. If Z was so affronted by the things we said, she was presumably reading all of the chat (because otherwise, surely she would have just skipped 'irrelevant' chat like that between me and Yuri). That's weird, because after that comment, some people laughed, I pointed out Yuri was lying and we had a jokey conversation... Then I asked Yuri to go do her chores again (she refused on the grounds she was having fun, so I put her in time out).

That was about when Z butted in. And...Yuri got very upset...IDK...very upset. She overreacted, but I think she was right. I just wish she'd calmed down a little, because she wasn't really helping by getting so angry and being insulting and everything, cos it puts people on the defensive. Proud of her for standing up for herself, of course, but I just feel there was a better way to do it.

Long story short; I now feel VERY angry, when I didn't feel that mad at all before. I am seething with rage...the only problem is I don't know if I'm in the right or how everyone else feels about it...if everyone's saying 'WTF that was insane what Yuri said!' or if they're like 'Z should take a chill-pill' :/ So...I have no idea...

Sighs and shrugs,
- Charlie xxo

All my *B friends

So, I'm guessing A doesn't really like me very much any more...

He usedta call me his 'favourite puppy' and be all snuggly with me. Now he has a new favourite puppy, more or less overnight. Now...I don't mind that so much, it stings a little, but the other puppy is really sweet and kind so I'm glad the two of them are friends. Besides, I get to be other puppy's friend tooo! :D

No...my problem is that yesterday, in chat, A was really down (like, he crawled into a corner (this was typed) and cried and made sad faces) and nobody else asked what was wrong. I did, but was ignored. I PMed him, in case he didn't want to talk about it in public. Like a minute later he logged off. :/

So, I don't know; I don't mind too much, cos I'm always Yuri's favourite puppy! :3 But still a little hurtful.

On a more positive note, I've made other friends; the other day me and 3 other people alll played a game together :D And an old friend from before the comps got taken came back (was so happy to see him again!)

I'll talk more about this tomorrow! (my Mum just came downstairs! O.o)

Kiss kiss hug,

- Charlie xxo

Be a mama more!!

So its about 11:20 at night as I start this post, I figured that I should start to catch up seeing as I'm pretty behind.

So today wasn't a good day the way I wanted it to be. I woke up and called my baby, we talked a bit about her day and what she did. Then being me, I was still sleepy so I fell asleep again. Something I hate doing!!! GRRRR!!! I want to spend time with my baby but damn it, I just can't help it I lay my head down and I just start to fall asleep!!! Darn it I wish I was with her!!! I do I do I do!!!

So I finally get some rest and was able to get up when I saw the time and realized "Oh no I'm going to be late for work!" So I had to quickly get dressed and leave for work leaving my baby alone when she was almost fully regressed! Of course she was sad! My heart just melted. Why?! I always do that. I sleep all day from being tired and then when I get up I have to leave and do something, leaving my baby alone and sad. I hate my self soo much sometimes. The look in my baby's eyes..... ohhh so damn heartbreaking. I know she wants her mama but....but..... I know that I have things to do and responsibilities. Now don't get me wrong my baby understands that but I still feel bad about leaving her like that. I mean she's my baby, she's needs a mama to look after her. *Sigh*

So as the day progressed things got a bit more worse. See about 4 days ago I bought a 14 pack of CVS day and nights. Now I love to put on multiple layers, so I went padded in 3 layers to school/work (i work at my school) today. Now I loved it at first..then I needed to pee. Now I know there not that good so I went to the restroom to pee in them (I know, I know totally defeating the purpose of diapees but hey I was worried I would leak.) So I went in them and they held very well! I loved it, so I finished my last shift in a wet diapee. Now it was fun till it got cold lol! Yeah so I had to deal with it till I got home. Then I had to take them off and throw them away sense I have to go to the doctors but there still time hehe .

My baby and her love!

So today was a good day! I didn't have any school or work at all today! I love my Thursdays when i have nothing to shoot! (photos) So today Mama let me sleep in and have a nice rest. I've been stressed so much with school and work I needed some good rest! So I got myself up like a big Girl and then I called mama and well we spent the whole day together (like we usually do when we have time) So at first she was very sleepy so I tried to get her to go to sleepy but she didn't want to because if she did then she wouldn't get to bed on time at all (her bedtime is 10:30 weekdays, 11:30 friday and saturday) So i let her rest most of the day as I say by and listened and watched her. After a while she woke up and had a nice time being my baby. But there was an issue today. See my parents are split, dad left, but my brother liked to bring my dad over when mom's not here. So today dad came, now don't get me wrong I love my dad, but i can't stand him! As well my mom asked to know if my dad came to call her, so i did. Well end of story my dad ended up leaving and I finally got time to spend with my baby!

So I babied my wittle one! I cuddled her and nuzzzled her and just loved her! She was all giggling and playful! The I sent her to beddy bye and read her a bed time story and let my baby snooze and now im here writing this!

Hey Hey Hey Hey Hello!!!!!!

Hello!!! Hugs to you!! The READER!!!

Well hey everyone this is Yuri! The Panda!! So there is not much that my puppy didn't say regrading us. We are both TB's and yes we are girls... emotionally! I'll more into that in a bit. As my puppy said we met on adisc, a TB/DL/.AB support site. So what can i say there isn't much here to say. I mean im not a writer i'm a photographer. Therefore my apologizes if my post aren't as good as my puppy's post. So Ok this is my fist post i guess i will just mainly introduce myself. So Yeah im a transgender girl so for those who don't know what that means. I am a male who wants to be a female physically, mentality wise I'm a female so i think and act like a female would or may. Now I have been so many different personalities but i have just never been myself until I met my pup. She let me be me and act the way I want to. So rather then being scared on how people would see me I finally decided to be me! I love IT!! My Pup is my baby, mama, and GF and i love her dearly!! I have never had someone that I love so much! I just can't believe how much I have changed and how much I want to change and be me!! I love this feeling! As far as TBness well she babies me alot she reads me bedtime stories when I go to bed, she sings me lullabys, and she even plays peeka boo with me! I love her and i will always!!! Thank you for taking time to read this! We are gonna try and make this interesting for you and tlak about our relationship and maybe help out other in the community with life issues! So if you like what you read and think we may help then let us know *hugs* to you all. And when Puppy (Charlie) post it's in black when I (Panda/Yuri) Post it will be in purple. Love ya all!!

I mades a friend! :3

Hehehe, Imma call him A for now, but he's a sweet little kittycat and I really like him! He let me cubsit him hehe.

I told Mama about him, and she wanted to make sure he was okay to hang out with, not a bad person liek the other people I usedta talk to. Well she liked him, but today when we were chatting on IRC, the kittyboy suddenly logged off (after not talking 4 a while). Now Yuri's a little mad, well, a LOT mad, cos she doesn't like him leaving her puppy.

But *I* think he's a gud kitty, he just logged off because something went wrong...or he doesn't know you're supposedta say 'bye' before goin'. I guess Mama is just overprotective of me, hehehe...

I also met another li'l kittycat who wants to RP with me (with me as a caretaker and her as a lickle kitty) but Mama has yet to meet her, so we'll see how that goes, buht she seems verrry nice.

Snuffles and wuffles,

- Charlie xxo