My Mama is tha' BESTEST!!! :D

Sooo today my Mama was snooozly for most of the day, which made me a lickle sad, but we had a nice huggly nap and when she got up she was all Mummyish and loooovely!

Like uhmmm she changed my diapee* and she din't mind when I told her I had an accident earlier (but she did worry my otha-Mama wud mind!) and then we just cuddled and played and talked a bit. She was a biiiit stricter than usual and she has some weird rules ('don't put toys in your mouth'; pssh, doesn't she know that's how us cubbies find out about stuffs?) but I kinda like when she's stricty cos it makes me feel like she cares about me. Even if the stuff she cares about is dumb :p.

I went to the doctors' too, cos I had a pee-pee infection** and it hurt my cooter LOTS, but now the special medicine I'm taking is making it better...I think!

So, as I said earlier I had kinda an accident earlier (this seems pretty irrelevant but I figure 'eh, it's a TB blog...'). I had this horrible tickly-scratchy-ow feeling at the end of my pee-place, and I wanted to get rid of it, so I wud pee a little...it wud go away for a minute, then come back...so I'd pee more...one time, I peed a whole lot by accident and IDK the other little wettings...it all just added up I guess... So my jeans and knickers were soaked, and are now crumpled up in a heap in the bathroom...we'll see if otha-Mama takes it ok, or even notices...

Oh, hehe, one of Mama Y's other rules is 'don't eat food that's fallen on the floor' (she made me throw my lollipop away!) buuut...I ate a sausage I dropped earlier...shhh!

Hugggllleees! And a nuzzle-kiss!

- Charlie xxo

*all 'babyin' is online, sadly, but I can imagine it REAL GOOD
**yh it's about my pee but it's a TB blog soo...IDK, if Mama wants me to take that bit down, it'll go...

My princess is soooo wonderful!

Okay so, I've been really, REALLY enjoying babying Yuri lately, we've had lotsa fun together.

She was soooo adorable this morning, hiding under her covers and playing 'Peeka' with me, hehe... I wish I could have spent more time with her, but I did really like the time we spent together...made me allll warm and fuzzy!

She's wearing the undies I got her, w/a pad, but she really wishes she could afford some diapers after the earthquake scared her soooo bad yesterday. It's time like this I wish more than ever she could be here, just safe in my arms, padded and cuddly and away from nasty things like earthquakes. *sigh* I just want my little girl here with me, is that too much to ask?

I digress...I mainly wanted to mention something which happened today to show me how much knowing Yuri has changed me (for the better!)

Before I knew Yuri...I was involved in some very bad things online. On here, I'll probably just refer to that as my 'dark past', but it involved me talking to some bad people about very bad things, and recently my DP has come back to bite me in the rump. I may talk about it more in detail one day here, but for now, just know I don't involve myself with that anymore, and it's mainly (okay, probably TOTALLY) down to Yuri...

Now, earlier today, I was going to send a message to somebody online. They were much older than me, and after I thought about it for a while, I decided it might be dangerous to message them (because a) they may hurt me and b) I don't want to fall down that slippery slope of 'bad' messaging again) and so I didn't. This is really big, because in the past, I would have just sent the message without worrying about myself.

Now I have Yuri, I don't feel the need to validate myself with messages from random people online...I feel like a goooood puppy, who doesn't need to do anything to please her Mama other than be herself! And that, TBH, feels really special to me!

Boogaloo,

- Charlie xxo

I've been bad :( / Balancing Mama and Baby

So, last night Yuri sent me to bed, but I didn't go straight away. (she had to go to work, so she left anyway) I wrote a blogpost (I forgot to finish/post it, that's why you get two posts today, lucky you!) then I thought I'd go downstairs and check out the computer (we just got it back).

I played Petville.
I read my Facebook.
I paced up and down my corridors.
I made a new family on the Sims 3

And at 4.30am, I hit the hay.

Might seem okay, but the thing is, I usually put Yuri to bed when I get up in the morning (cos my morning is her night; she's 7hrs behind me) and today...I didn't. I woke up at 10.30, stumbled out of bed, checked Skype (she was asleepies) and then felt horribly guilty.

I guess, I feel most horrible cos I didn't try to talk* to her at all the extra 5hrs I was up. Besides the fact that I feel bad for not going to bed when I'm sposedta.

It wasn't intentional, I really wanted to talk to her, but I kept thinking I'd be getting off soon, and it was selfish to disturb her, only to say 'well yeah I'm going now bye'. I really thought I was going to get off soon, so why bug her? x I guess partially I also didn't want Mama to find out I'd stayed up, but mostly it was not wanting to tell her I was staying up then leave straght away.

Anyway, this is where the *big* problem comes in; while I was worrying about Yuri being mad at me for staying up (and then falling asleep), there was an earthquake where Yuri lives. It really scared her and she wanted me badly. She even thought 'bad' things about me (she hated me, didn't want me anymore, etc.) which I just took as normal for a cubby.

I was asleep the whole. Damn. Time. I could have been awake, and comforting her, but I was asleep. Now, because I was feeling a little cubbish (less than usual, I was basically only scared of Mama being mad at me for staying up) I didn't think to myself about waking up in time. Well, I did, but I figured I WOULD wake up in time, and everything would work out. A pretty selfish attitude, to be sure, but okay for a cub.

It's not OKAY for a Mama, though, that's the problem; Mamas need to put their babies first, no matter what. I just wish I could always know who I need to be...if I should be Mama, and therefore never be selfish, or be cubby and be...well...quite selfish sometimes.

Maybe the problem is the word 'selfish'; the things I do are selfish by adult standards....but not by kids'. I'm not sure I'm putting myself across very well; I just feel it's difficult sometimes to be both Mama and baby (not that I don't love both aspects!) because what's 'ok' behaviour for cubby-me, would be HORRIBLE for Mama-me.

Anybody understand me?

Dogroses and puppydog noses,

- Charlie xxo

Nothing I can put here won't sound pervy...

So last night, I was thinking a lot about humiliation in my ageplay. Mainly, the fact I don't particularly enjoy it.

Firstly, I should admit, I like to 'have accidents'. However, I don't enjoy the humiliation aspect of it; quite the opposite, I have accidents in order to be comforted...I'm really not sure how

Let me put it this way; me and Mama are in town, looking at toys. I've been slowly getting wrigglier and wrigglier as the trip goes on, and Mama repeatedly asks me if I need the toilet, even offering to take me once or twice. But I keep putting it off, until... *trickledribblesploosh*

Now, there are 3 main ways this can be handled:

a) Delibrate Humiliation: Mama scowls, grabbing my paw and marching me into the middle of the store, yelling and calling attention to my piddly clothes while I blush and whine softly, not wanting people to see me this way, and not wanting to exacerbate the situation by crying about it.

b) 'Accidental'* Humiliation: Mama sighs irritatedly, takes my hand and quickly removes me from the store, taking me to the car and back home again, all the while looking very disappointed in me. She tells me how she kept telling me to go and I ignored her, how this really can't go on, as I sniffle-sob and apologize, feeling sad at having had to leave the shops.

c) Comforting: Mama gasps, picking me up (or if I'm too big) hurriedly leading me into a toilet cubicle. As I cry softly, apologizing, Mama soothes me, stripping off my wet clothes, sitting me on the toilet (to make sure I'm done piddling) then cleaning and re-dressing me. She smiles happily, but reminds me kindly that next time I need the toilet, I should ask!


*This was the method my parents used, basically. I'm sure part of it was actual DELIBRATE humiliation, to dissuade me from doing it, but not too much of it. Mostly it was just my own shame I felt. Actually I remember an incident now when I was about 9 or 10; I wet myself when I was down near the beach, but tried to pretend I'd just got water on myself. It didn't work. My parents sighed and tutted angrily, Mum leading me through the crowded diner we were eating outside to the toilets. I remember squeezing my eyes shut, so I wouldn't have to see everyone who could see/smell that I'd wet myself. In other minds, that could be the stuff of erotic fiction ('As I moved through the diner, I felt every eye turn to my rump, clearly soaked with urine...') but for me it was (still is!) mortifying!

Anyway, I would want method c), but I know a LOT of *Bs would rather have b) or even a), which I suppose makes me something of an oddity. In fact, I have fantasies that are variations on common *B fantasies, but all 'comforting' rather than being humiliating, for example, being put back into diapers; whereas most of the time I've seen it this is a 'so, you want to be a baby/you can't keep your undies dry!? diapers!' kinda thing, I have it more as 'I know you don't like it, but you need to wear these now'. I want Mama to understand I'm embarrassed and make me feel better.

I like to make myself weak, but only if the other person is kind and supportive. It's just another extension of my kid-side, I guess; I only allow myself to get REAL cubby when I know I'm 'safe', that is, when I'm with my Mama (and she doesn't have the friskies! :p) or alone, but in a 'comfort' zone. I have genuinely horrified myself sometimes, by cubbing out during a scary time, or not taking enough time to go from cuddlycubby to sexycubby.

I guess this is one way in which me and Yuri are different. She likes humiliation (not always, and we haven't really explored it too much, but she's told me the desire is there).

I just don't understand the appeal of being humiliated, especially as a cub. Surely then, you want Mama's cuddles, not Mama's scorn? Hmm, perhaps some ageplayers who are into the humiliation aspect can explain what's enjoyable about it.

Sorry, I've talked a lot about little (and even forgot to post this! D:) but yeah, it really confuses me why anyone would want humiliation. I'd like to understand it better.

Hugs and tail-tugs,

- Charlie xxo

Hi! Hi! Hi! :3

I'm Charlie, a 16-year-old puppygirl (sometimes boy hehe). My girlfriend is Yuri, she's 18 and a pandagirl.

We're both TBs, well, technically I'm more of a 'kid' with babyish tendencies than an actual BABY (my innerkid is anywhere from 6-13, default being 7 for boy-time, 9 for girl-time :3) whereas Yuri is def. a baby usually!

We met on ADISC.org; she was really supportive and AMAZING when I was telling my Mum about being TB and she flipped out. From there we moved to Facebook and Yuri asked me (rather shyly, silly little girl!) if we could be eachother's Mamas. I agreed, of course, though I was a bit unsure of how to do it.

After a while, she confessed she liiiked me (well, I hadta wrestle it out of her :p she kept saying she 'liked someone' and dropping hints) and I confirmed I liked her too but wasn't ready to be in a relationship yet. She was sooo understanding! :3

Anyway...a while later, I realized I loved her, we started 'kinda' dating, then actually dating and now I'm proud to call her my girlfriend. :3

I guess the main obstacle we have is that we're so far apart; Yuri lives in the USA and I live in the UK. We talk everyday on Skype and all, but it's still hurtful not to be able to rock my little girl to sleep at night, or get a cuddle from Mummy...

The good part is, she's moving here in a couple of years, for good! :D x

Now, my little girl is being ruuude so I needta go take care of her...

- Huggles and kisses,

Charlie xxo