Be a mama more!!

So its about 11:20 at night as I start this post, I figured that I should start to catch up seeing as I'm pretty behind.

So today wasn't a good day the way I wanted it to be. I woke up and called my baby, we talked a bit about her day and what she did. Then being me, I was still sleepy so I fell asleep again. Something I hate doing!!! GRRRR!!! I want to spend time with my baby but damn it, I just can't help it I lay my head down and I just start to fall asleep!!! Darn it I wish I was with her!!! I do I do I do!!!

So I finally get some rest and was able to get up when I saw the time and realized "Oh no I'm going to be late for work!" So I had to quickly get dressed and leave for work leaving my baby alone when she was almost fully regressed! Of course she was sad! My heart just melted. Why?! I always do that. I sleep all day from being tired and then when I get up I have to leave and do something, leaving my baby alone and sad. I hate my self soo much sometimes. The look in my baby's eyes..... ohhh so damn heartbreaking. I know she wants her mama but....but..... I know that I have things to do and responsibilities. Now don't get me wrong my baby understands that but I still feel bad about leaving her like that. I mean she's my baby, she's needs a mama to look after her. *Sigh*

So as the day progressed things got a bit more worse. See about 4 days ago I bought a 14 pack of CVS day and nights. Now I love to put on multiple layers, so I went padded in 3 layers to school/work (i work at my school) today. Now I loved it at first..then I needed to pee. Now I know there not that good so I went to the restroom to pee in them (I know, I know totally defeating the purpose of diapees but hey I was worried I would leak.) So I went in them and they held very well! I loved it, so I finished my last shift in a wet diapee. Now it was fun till it got cold lol! Yeah so I had to deal with it till I got home. Then I had to take them off and throw them away sense I have to go to the doctors but there still time hehe .